Can I Train My Autistic Child to Have Better Social Skills?

Social skill deficits in children with autism can have a profound impact on their life, but it can typically be avoided via systematic step-by-step social skills training. Early interventions that many people take for granted, like social skills training for autism, can support an autistic child to learn how to navigate social situations effectively and lay a solid foundation for long-term friendships and improved mental health. 

Social Skills and Autism

Neurotypical children usually acquire social skills by watching and imitating those around them and tend to master these important skills quite fast, learning to engage in conversations and to know when others are not interested.

On the other hand, children with autism usually don’t develop these skills from observing others; they, instead, must be taught directly to know how to interact with others. 

Although training your child with autism to have better social skills at an early stage typically improves the outcomes, children with autism can develop core skills and competencies at any age, and there are effective social skills training programs available for children, teens and even adults living with autism.

Children with autism vary greatly from one another, but they also exhibit deficits in social skills in one form or another in areas like non-verbal communication (e.g. maintaining eye contact and using body language), social interactions (e.g. sharing with others), and the formation and maintenance of friendships and relationships. 

Many kids with autism:

• Are unable to maintain eye contact with others during social interactions
• Fail to respond when someone calls their name or speaks to them
• Struggle to understand others e.g they may be unable to understand body language, gestures or facial expressions
• Might be unaware of appropriate behavior in social situations e.g. they may not know when it’s their turn to speak during conversations
• Are generally passive, controlling, or aggressive
• Are averse or indifferent to affection e.g. they may not tolerate being touched or hugged 
• Don’t like sharing items (e.g. toys) and/or feelings with others (excitement, happiness) 
• Often express their emotions inappropriately e.g. smiling or laughing when they shouldn’t be doing so
• Prefer to doing things alone
• Be unable to make friends 

Sadly, impairments in social skills can end up harming one’s social life and overall well being in so many ways, leading to stress, anxiety, and poor academic performance.

Social Skills Impacted by Autism

Social skills training for autism can sometimes be difficult primarily because a major trait of autism is deficits in communication and social skills. 

The symptoms of autism that can affect an individual’s social skills training include but are not limited to

• Delayed speech
• Inability to understand non-verbal social cues 
• Difficulties with reading others’ feelings or emotions
• Problems understanding abstract language (sarcasm, jokes, and teasing) 
• Inability to keep a conversation going 
• Echolalia (repeating words or phrases one has heard time and again 
• Blurting out responses or answers to any questions asked

By merely looking at these signs and symptoms of autism, it’s clear why an autistic child would struggle to interact with, play with, or make friends with those around them, whether at home or in school.

Understanding the Social Skills a Child With Autism Needs

Although deficits in social skills can have a huge impact on a child’s life and wellbeing, it’s often avoided through social skills training for autism and other interventions to help them to learn how to steer social situations more successfully.

Children with autism can learn these social skills through targeted training: 

• Understanding body language, facial expressions, and gestures
• Figuring out other people’s feelings or thoughts 
• Sharing items or interests with those around them
• Understanding socially appropriate behaviors or social norms
• Adapting to new and varying social settings 
• Resolving conflicts or disagreements

Social skills are helpful even for children who aren’t interested in interacting with others or spending time with them and even people who prefer to be alone can use their social skills  in situations such as when they visit the local shop, need to use local services or when they are faced with unfamiliar situations. Social skills training with autism can help children and teens be more independent and more effectively navigate day-to-day life. 

Benefits of Social Skills Training for Autism

Social skills are generally important for establishing strong relationships and for children with autism, social skills training interventions can help them steer social situations with improved confidence.

Since social communication and interaction are issues that many autistic children experience, social skills training can be critical in supporting them to learn, develop and practice these vital skills in their daily lives. 

Their non-autistic peers may develop these social skills naturally, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should panic because social skills learning has shown great potential in teaching autistic kids appropriate social behavior. 

This can be incredibly beneficial to children with autism and social impairments, so below you’ll find some of the key benefits of social skills training with autism.

1. Social-Emotional Development

Children with autism might require more guidance to acquire social-emotional-skills, which can help them read the emotions and feelings of those around them (empathy), how and when to say something, and what social behaviors are acceptable in public.

2. Improved Academic Performance

Many children with autism struggle to stay focused and have sensory processing difficulties, which, in addition to their inability to communicate their needs and feelings, can be damaging to their performance in school. Social skills training can help guide such children to enhance their skills, improve their academic performance, and support them in their daily lives.

3. Improved Behavior at Home and in School

Social skills learning with autism can help discourage inappropriate behavior by rewarding acceptable behaviors, allowing children with autism to conduct themselves well and have self-control at home and at school.

4. Become More Social and Outgoing

Allowing children with autism who isolate themselves at home because they are somewhat shy or reserved can make them even more scared of social settings. Kids who undergo social skills learning can be supported to interact with others to learn social norms and become even more outgoing.   

5. Improve Self-Confidence

When children with autism learn social skills, they are able to make more friends and engage in more meaningful interactions, which can make them more confident to engage in many other aspects of their life. 

6. Develop problem-solving skills

Children with autism might encounter conflicts in different social settings, but how they deal with these issues will determine their overall mood. Social skills training autism programs can provide them with all the tools they need to solve problems and resolve conflicts along with their counterparts whenever they arise.   

7. Have Fun

Social skills training activities such as free play, role play, and art and craft, are meant to be interactive and fun, which can help encourage imagination, creativity and teamwork among children on the autism spectrum. 

Strategies for Developing Social skills in Children with Autism

There are many different social skills training strategies that can help children, pre-teens, and teen learn and develop social skills, increase their understanding, and boost their confidence in different kinds of social settings, including:

• Role-play
• Playing games
• Observing others and watching videos
• Social stories
• Social groups

1. Role play

Parents and siblings can practice mimicking various social situations in different settings, such as buying from a shop, greeting people, or communicating one’s needs. children can engage in role play with friends and loved ones in varying settings by researching different scenarios depending on one’s challenges and experiences in their day-to-day life.  

2. Play games 

Before you allow your child to play games with others, we recommend playing with them yourself or asking siblings and friends to play with them to help them learn the rules of a given game, know how to play it, recognize the importance of turn-taking, and observe how other children behave during the game. 

Some popular games to try playing with your autistic child and others in your household are kicking a ball, hide and seek, Simon says, and board games, such as Connect Four and Jenga. 

3. Social Stories

Parents, teachers, and other people in an autistic child’s life can use a variety of social stories to help them understand social norms and behaviors, to view a situation from another person’s perspective, and put themselves in another person’s shoes.

Parents, caregivers can also compose their own stories depending on a child’s traits by imagining characters, choosing the right messages, and determining the storyline. 

4. Watching Videos 

If your little one is anxious about a given activity, you can encourage  them to observe others and watch videos together of people or children doing the same activity. It is a good idea to explain to them what to expect in such situations and help them notice basic courtesy practices such as greeting people, following directions, saying ‘thank you’, and so on. 

5. Social Groups

Local social groups for preteens and teens on the autism spectrum provide safe, non-judgemental spaces for autistic teens to young people on the spectrum to meet, make friends, share their experiences with others, practice social skills, and increase their understanding of autism and social skills development. 

Children and teenagers may also attend social group meetings that are focused on their areas of interest to share their knowledge and have fun with others.

Strategies for Teaching Social skills to Students with Autism

• Adapt social activities to people and things the students is already familiar with
• Keep in mind that social expectations often become more complicated over time, so elaboration and repetition are important
• Use praise and rewards to reinforce socially acceptable behavior 
• Model turn taking and social interactions 
• Teach verbal communication, imitation, and referencing others 

• Break your social skills training sessions into smaller parts, and develop these skills via support interactions and visual supports as necessary
• Celebrate small victories and use them to encourage interest in interactions. 
• Use strengths to your advantage e.g use a student’s interests to motivate them to perform even better
• Identify classmates who are good at modeling social interactions and pair autistic children with them, making sure to keep the interactions natural and meaningful
• Create structured activities based on the students special interests to provide motivation and support
• Focus on social skills learning during school and classroom activities that the students find easy and interesting 
• Provide the student and their peers with well structured social settings and explain behavior expectations beforehand
• Teach turn-taking, reciprocity, and empathy
• Use a variety of social narratives to describe social norms and expectations
• Be a good role model e.g. using body language, facial expressions, and gestures when explaining  points 
• Make learning simple and fun
• Create more opportunities for children with autism to practice social skills. 

It’s not always easy to train autistic children to have good social skills and much will depend on understanding each student and adapting your teaching methods to the individual as situations change. 

We hope that these strategies help you on this incredible journey or teaching and discovering your students rather than trying to rid them of their autistic qualities. 

Conclusion

Developing social skills is crucial in an individual’s growth and education, but children with autism may lack the skills needed to participate effectively or may feel overwhelmed in the process.

Many autistic pre-teens and teens are sadly aware of their impairments in social communication and may avoid social situations even if they want to meet and interact with others. Other autistic people may repeatedly seek attention from others in order to connect with them until they develop the necessary skills to engage in interactions. 

Training your child to have better social skills, whether at home or in a social setting can help them meet their social objectives while being their true selves, which can help them gain confidence to connect with people and gain experiences along the way.