Puberty brings its own set of changes for autistic young people, affecting emotional regulation, sensory sensitivity and social interactions. Understanding how puberty and autism intersect helps you give better support through these changes.
Puberty is the stage of life when a person develops from a child into an adult. It can be a time of intense emotions and mixed feelings for both parents and children. While you may be proud that your little one is growing up, it can also be a time of extra worries.
Your child will also feel a mix of emotions and may be both excited and overwhelmed at the same time. Getting through these years well takes support, understanding and guidance from family, friends and your child’s care team.
During puberty, both girls and boys go through a number of changes, including physical and emotional changes, as well as changes in what people around them expect socially. Let’s look at some of these changes below.
➡ Physical Changes
Physical changes are expected as your child’s body matures into an adult one. These changes differ between girls and boys and can include:
For girls:
- Growth spurt
- Body hair (pubic and underarm)
- Breast development
- Menstruation (periods)
- Hip widening
For boys:
- Growth spurt
- Facial and body hair
- Testicular enlargement
- Voice changes
- Increased muscle mass and strength
➡ Emotional Changes
While hormonal changes play an important role in the emotional ups and downs of adolescence, it is important to remember that your child’s brain is still maturing and they are still learning how to understand and manage their emotions.
You might notice that your child’s moods are more unpredictable, and they may become more sensitive to others and more self-conscious as their bodies change.
As your child’s brain and decision-making skills develop, they will benefit from adult support with emotional regulation (co-regulation).
➡ Changes to Sleep Patterns and Energy Levels
During adolescence, the body clock naturally shifts by a few hours. For that reason, teens tend to feel sleepy later at night and want to wake up later in the morning. That is why many teens find it hard to go to bed early and get up early. Teens also need a bit more sleep than adults (between 8 and 10 hours).
The combination of staying up late and waking up early for school often leads to too little sleep and lower energy during the day. Not getting enough sleep can also affect learning, mood and overall health. Many autistic young people already have sleep differences, so this shift can hit harder.
➡ Social Changes
As your children grow from kids into adults, social expectations change too. There is more pressure from society to fit appearance standards and to meet expectations about behavior and social roles.
At the same time, they are exploring their own identity and interests and becoming more independent. And remember what we said about the developing brain? They are going through all of these changes while still developing decision-making skills and the ability to think through consequences.
Puberty and Autism
Puberty can be a challenging time for all adolescents, and many autistic people find change especially hard, which can make this period even more tiring for them. Autism and puberty together can also bring specific challenges that become more intense during these years.
While all adolescents go through emotional ups and downs, many autistic young people find emotional regulation harder, which can make these swings bigger. Autistic people also have higher rates of mental health difficulties such as anxiety, and puberty can add to these.
Puberty also brings hormonal changes and sexual development, which can be confusing or distressing for an autistic teen, especially if they find it hard to understand or talk about these changes. As their bodies change, autistic adolescents may find it hard to understand or accept what is happening, which can affect their self-esteem and social confidence.
These bodily changes can be especially hard for teens with sensory processing differences, because new hair and bodily fluids create new sensations that an autistic teenager may find distressing. These changes also bring extra self-care steps, like shaving, using deodorant and using menstrual pads. Each step adds executive functioning demands (planning, sequencing and remembering) as well as a new sensory experience.
Social relationships also change a lot in this period. Many autistic people communicate and connect differently from their neurotypical peers, and as teen social life becomes more complex, unwritten social rules and cues can be harder to read. This can lead to more isolation or even bullying, which is why safe friendships and supportive adults matter so much.
How Can I Support My Autistic Teen Through Puberty?
To support your child through puberty, start with their individual needs. Below are some tips to help you guide them through this time.
1. Education and Communication
Keep communication open and give clear, simple explanations about the changes your child will go through in puberty. Unexpected changes can be very hard for many autistic people, so you may want to start talking about what is coming well before it happens, at a time that feels right for your child.
As a general guide, puberty usually begins around 10 to 11 years for girls and 11 to 13 years for boys, although it can start earlier or later. You know your child better than anyone, so you are the best person to decide when to start preparing them.
Talking to your child’s school can also help, so you know what they are covering and everyone uses the same words, which makes it easier for your child to understand.
Many autistic young people take language literally, so use very straightforward words, including the correct names for body parts. Diagrams and pictures are also good ways to support communication.
2. Routines and Predictability
Keeping routines consistent and giving your child predictability can give them a sense of stability and reduce anxiety. This is especially important for teens who find change hard, teens with sensory processing differences and those who live with anxiety or other mental health challenges.
3. Visual Supports and Social Stories
Visual supports and social stories can help understanding and add a sense of predictability and stability.
Pictures and photos can also help your child understand how their body will change over time.
4. Sexual Education
Sexual education that suits your child’s level of understanding is essential for their privacy, safety and comfort.
Your child may start to have sexual feelings, and masturbation is a normal and healthy part of development. Understanding these new feelings and where and when certain behaviors are appropriate is essential for your teen’s healthy development and safety. Talking about public and private behaviors and about consent can empower them to develop their sexuality in a healthy way.
To explore this further, have a look at planetpuberty.org.au. They have great resources to guide you through your child’s journey through puberty.
5. Personal Hygiene
Personal hygiene changes a lot as your child matures. Using deodorant, trimming facial or body hair and managing periods can all feel new and scary, particularly for teens with sensory processing differences. Explaining why these steps matter and finding the methods and products that work best for your child can help them manage these changes.
For example, if your child is sensitive to smells, letting them choose their own scents or looking for unscented products can help. For girls, periods can be tricky. The sensory experience of pads, tampons or menstrual cups can be hard to cope with, and having one week every month that feels different can be very overwhelming.
Some girls find that wearing pads or period underwear all month is more comfortable than changing for one week and then adjusting back to regular underwear at the end of their period.
Visual schedules can also help some teens learn and remember their new routines.
6. Friendships and Relationships
Relationships and social rules become a lot more complex as we move through the teen years into adulthood. Many autistic people find socializing in a mostly neurotypical world tiring, and as social expectations increase, this can feel harder.
Learning about social expectations, in a way that respects how your teen naturally communicates, can help them handle more complex social situations without having to mask who they are. Many autistic teens also benefit enormously from time with neurodivergent peers or groups who share their passions, in supportive environments.
7. Online Safety
Online safety is very important as your teen spends more time in the digital world. The internet offers many opportunities for information, education and social connection, but it also comes with risks.
Cyberbullying, protection from predators and abuse, privacy, security and avoiding scams are all areas to cover. It is also important to teach them that online actions leave a digital footprint and can have long-term consequences. Teaching your teen how to use the internet safely will help them build confidence and navigate the digital world safely and responsibly.
8. Seek Help
Supporting autistic teens through puberty takes a team approach that covers their physical, emotional, social and educational needs. Lean on your team of therapists, GP and educators for support. Reach out sooner rather than later if you notice:
- Ongoing low mood, withdrawal or loss of interest in things they usually love
- More frequent or more intense meltdowns or shutdowns
- Big changes in sleep or eating
- Signs of bullying, at school or online
- Worries about periods, pain or body changes that your teen can’t put into words
Your teen is still learning who they are. With predictable routines, honest information and adults who listen, autism and puberty can be a time of real growth as well as change.
Mariana graduated in Occupational Therapy in 2007. She is a friendly and smiley Brazilian who has been living in Australia since 2015. Throughout her career, Mariana worked with adults and children in various settings.
