INTRO

hello hello and welcome to the 360  method a weekly podcast where we talk  about everything autism 360. each week  we’ll be catching you up with what’s  going on in the program chatting with  team members and talking all things  mindset and exploring relevant ideas  that autism parents think about  i’m your host ella bailey i’m an autism  360 veteran coach and explorer of all  things parenting  support and today  i am joined by my very first ever autism  360 client and now  colleague faith  hello  how are you hi i’m good thank you how  are you doing  yes very excited to have you and to chat  about  your little man and what we did in the  program and your experience yeah  so welcome to you our lovely listeners  it’s lovely to have you i can’t wait to  share faith’s story with you and to hear  your thoughts and feedback um if you’re  a program member or not we’d still love  to hear from you so  drop us a line at hello autism360.com  um we love your feedback and we love  answering parent questions at the end of  each episode so please do get in touch  before we get started  i would like to acknowledge the gadigal  people of the eora nation on whose land  i live and work and from where this  podcast is being broadcast today and i  also want to mention that  this podcast does not substitute for  medical advice if you have anything that  makes you feel you know hear anything  that makes you feel concerned about  yourself or your child please do contact  medical advice  um  so  today today’s the day lovely faith  what’s happening  no i’m great thank you thank you for  having me this is um exciting and scary  all at the same time  exactly so for those who don’t know  faith is um one of the linchpins here at

CHAPTER I

the program before starting with us uh  faith was a podiatrist  um and also mum to two beautiful kiddos  one of whom  has autism and today we’re going to be  chatting about faith’s experience as a  parent on the program before she came to  work with us um faith did the program  twice three times yes i did i did it  twice twice amazing so much  yeah all right well faith when you came  into the program let’s chat about where  you were at with your  kiddo malik what your biggest challenges  were where the family was at when you  first started  yes so i joined the program um malik was  about six years old  and  we were having a lot of challenges we’ve  been he had been diagnosed for a while  so we knew that he was autistic and we  we were having a lot of therapies for  the family for him  face-to-face therapies  um ot  and and speechy  um but i was really struggling with  day-to-day activities um in the  household so i just wanted to  look at  goals that could help us with um or look  at areas that could help us with  it’s  stopping or i shouldn’t say stopping um  helping him  navigate his day so with the activities  that we that we had to  to do during the day everything was a  real hassle  um it affected the family day-to-day  um  just him being able to move from one  activity to another if for example it’s  getting changes in the morning  or  having breakfast and then finishing his  breakfast and leaving for school  or  um  coming out of the car sometimes it would  be different activities  through the day that would be just be a  hassle for the whole family so we really  needed help with that i was lost with  what to do  um  the other challenge that we had was also  just  um  getting him when he wakes up early in  the morning he would just  wake up about five because he just did  not sleep that well through the night  it’s improved now but he couldn’t sleep  very well through the night so he’d be  waking up early in the morning running  to my room i was a full-time um  podiatrist at the time working you know  working  um very early  very early in the morning so i’d have to  wake up early and but instead he would  be waking me up even earlier than i  would wish  more and then jump into bed and just  disrupt the days just from the get-go so  we just really needed a lot of help  navigating through our day  yes i hear that a lot with parents that  you know they are really  you know they can see that their child  is making progress with face-to-face  therapy they do see the value but they  don’t see it translating into the home  was that something that you were yeah  exactly so with regards to him holding  his pen right and ot and you know he him  doing sort of the face-to-face um  activities that they would do sitting  across the table and doing he would be  fine with that but it was those daily  everyday challenges that needed to be  um  needed to be ironed out needed to be you  know um smoothed out i suppose so that  not everything that we do brushing your  teeth or just those daily day day-to-day  things that we face as parents were  awesome  yes absolutely i remember  right at the beginning when we started  um putting in place um some support  visuals for his getting dressed  processed and that was so transformative  for you  amazing so yes we had a beautiful visual  chart which um  you know and he would know what what he  had to put on what he put on next what  he put on after that and it was just  just a chat and he does start asking for  it mom where’s my where’s my fish  where’s my visual and he’ll have it in  front of him and then he’ll follow what  to do i’ll just lay the clothes out for  him now i can’t even put the clothes in  a pile for him and he will just get up  and get dressed for school or he’ll say  mommy where are my clothes  okay bear your clothes get dressed and  he will get dressed um on his own and  it’s thankful to that he sort of it was  it was building upon that visual  yeah  two years ago and how he wasn’t by  himself  oh my gosh that’s exciting and unless um  it must have been around  then when we were first starting out and  first chatting  that you realized that autism 360 this  service what we provide is very  different um from what you had  previously experienced when did you  first realize that  i realized that after the first session  that i had  because um it was you were listening to  me  not as a parent but as faith with malik  um you know this mummy of two who is  experiencing these challenges you were  listening to my actual it didn’t feel  like i was just another parent with a  child with problems and we’re just sort  of trying to  um  you know figure out in the first five  minutes and the last five minutes of our  face-to-face sessions as we know as i  normally have you know the other  therapies that we have i love the face  space therapies but it was just the  first five minutes from the last five  minutes in which you’re able to  get your  challenges out there your weekly  challenges what’s happened in the last  week what’s happened in the last month  out there  and you can see the therapist trying to  you know rack in her brain oh what can i  come up with now

 

CHAPTER II

yeah yeah but it felt  like you were listening to me as a as a  as a as a mom as faith and you were  guiding me  along my journey with my little boy  and that was just so  i felt so relieved after the first  session instead of coming away with more  questions yes  yeah yeah you felt like you had some  answers or at least somebody that you  could go to with it with questions  exactly someone who understand  understood exactly what it well it felt  like you understood exactly  i wish i could have had you in my pocket  and that’s how i  get ella for when you need help yes  because just um it was just amazing  having  um having a guide yeah yeah i know i  mean  um neurotypical kids don’t come with a  guide but neurodiverse kids come with  even less of a guide don’t they right  yes that’s right and and as a parent we  go through the we go through the state  today and like you said our children  don’t come with like with a guide but  it’s just  knowing  how to deflect from a situation and  understand your child a lot more i did  not understand  why malik was doing these things and it  was just  having that you know just thinking wow  i’m going to learn a lot from this from  from from this program that’s how i felt  and that’s how i felt right through  right through the program i just felt  like i was learning  more and more about my son every day  every week  yeah  and so i guess there must have been  some some strategies i mean we talked  about strategies every week but  you know uh problem solving those little  um struggles that he was having that  you know you were facing and that sort  of thing but are there any that stick in  your mind just like some really big  breakthrough strategies um worked on  one of the ones that sticks in my mind  is for the changing of activities from  one one era for him specifically what  has worked always is the visual timer  and it was the way that you had  explained that the timer would work for  him  um with regards to him having that  thing that he can see and how we you  know being able to  um  to just  transition from one thing to the next  and it could be used for everything i  did not realize that the visual timer  could be used for a host of different  things from  from him  from him stopping um whether it’s  finishing his his  his work that he’s doing even at school  because they started implementing it at  school and that was amazing because i  think  teachers don’t always know what works  one particular child they’ve just got a  list of i don’t know he used to carry a  link was it a linear thing  a lanyard with lanyard and yeah and um  and that really never really worked for  malik so i think it’s just knowing the  child and knowing what works for each  child and with malik visuals were  amazing and you were able to pinpoint on  that on the using the timer and using  his cuddle rings we like oh we love our  cuddle rings  um so and the cuddle rings do you want  me to explain that all do you want to  let’s chat about the cuddle rings what  was what was it that we were struggling  with that made me go away and dream up  the cuddle rings  so malik  is  very affectionate he just loves people  so um  when you know when when reading about  autism when you’re sort of just a parent  navigating through autism and even when  he was a baby and they’ll be i’ll be  like is he noticing heroistic biologists  they’d always say oh they’re antisocial  all kids on the spectrum are antisocial  and hide underneath tables away from  other people and hide  don’t like to be and malik was the  complete opposite he loves people he  loves cuddles he loves  to a point where it was  very challenging because he would want  to you know give the  checkout lady  i’ll be a hug  yeah exactly i mean  talk about not having a manual you know  exactly exactly all the postman the  postman would come in and deliver a  parcel and malik’s like can i have a  [ __ ]  yeah  oh my goodness  well um  the cuddle rings  a wonderful wonderful cuddle rings  that um  now assist malik in knowing which  which which group of people  by association his family his teachers  his friends  or he doesn’t know what level of  affection is that the way right way to  put it what level of affection  um each  person is right so it’s also about  personal space learning about you know  yeah absolutely and i think um  it’s it’s  during that time we were so much working  out okay what is the way  that we can use malik’s personality his  own interests his own um  motivations to  describe the world to him in a way that  makes sense you know malik really  thrives when he has clear  delineations  around things and i think that the  reason that the cuddle rings worked  really well for him um and for the  family was because okay when we can at  least put like a clear line around  something it’s a great basis  to  safely explore  that independently so when he knows okay  um these are the people that mum says  it’s safe for me to be x level of  affection with  he then is safe to go out explore that  see what that looks like  without you know  accidentally doing something that um you  know is not safe or um is inappropriate  or whatever and how cool is that i know  i know he’s and and and now i just sort  of have to say malik mm-hmm no this is  the uh what are you supposed to do and  he won’t he he’ll be like okay high five  yes high five ring high five  yeah and instead of wanting to just gun  love her body  yes oh my gosh he’s such a beauty isn’t  he boy  um  okay well i mean what do you think  um i guess what do you want other  parents to know this is your chance  here’s your soapbox  um what comes to  mind

 

CHAPTER III

um i think i want other parents to  know that  this program is  so helpful that it’s actually  surprising it’s very unexpected how  helpful  um the parent coaching  is because it’s  first-hand information that’s given to  you  and you are learning your  just the way like as we mentioned before  um parenting does not come with a manual  but then you’re sort of given advice  from your mom or your um to your cousin  who’ve done this before  that’s works fine or to some extent for  a neurotypical  child but when it’s your kitty who’s on  the spectrum  my mom actually can’t give you that  advice no it doesn’t work  it does not work the same so having  a guide a voice who understands what’s  happening is able to tell you why things  are happening it becomes so empowering  as a parent  to be able to  use that knowledge use that advice and  then because it’s like i said it’s  first-hand information given to you  as the parent you’re able to then it’s  like um  you’re then it becomes second nature  then it becomes second nature and you  start doing things and thinking oh ella  said this mean i put it in here oh this  is why i should use this and then you  can even reflect upon maybe a day that  didn’t go so well sometimes i have  mornings that i’m just like oh i could  have  i could have handled that situation a  lot better  by doing this or by giving  you know giving malik  um  a choice out of his sensory docket  because that’s something that i learned  and you understand  how things work and  understand why your little boy or little  girl do why they do the things they do  and  can i give an example absolutely  so we used to get  um a little frustrated with malik  watching credits all the time so his  preference if we’d sit and let him he  would watch credits do you remember the  credits i remember  whenever and i used and i said like  malik no watching credits you can’t  watch credits watch here’s a show watch  watch this watch mickey mouse watch and  then i learned through this program  through ella through um  our sensory questions  and with stacy that malik  must find  something about the lists of the names  of the words very common to him it’s  part of  his  sensory regulation  so instead of taking it away from him  completely we need to understand that he  needs  um some level of those um  to be able to watch those credits just  to be able to regulate himself so  instead of taking it away from him  completely he’s saying okay malik i’m  using the timer you’ve got five minutes  you can watch your credits and sure  enough when he watches it and i say  malik okay you’ve got one more minute  left and he’ll go okay  and he’ll watch another minute of those  credits and then switch off switch  switch to something else yeah um  by by himself so it’s  it’s just been amazing and such a you  know  what an eye opener is to be able to get  those explanations behind why he does  those things  yeah and a guide to  know and understand your child um so  that you don’t feel so bewildered  we fully understand your child it’s  obviously children change day to day and  have different moods like we all have  different moods but it’s just  it was uh  it was amazing it was surprisingly  amazing how this program helped my  family  amazing  oh thank you face that’s been so cool to  hear we’ve got a parent question so i  thought we could answer it together  um and i think this is specifically  going to be in your wheelhouse because  this parent is talking about having one  neurodiverse child and one neurotypical  child so  lee from broken hill asks  i have two kids one with autism and one  who is neurotypical i always feel like  i’m giving so much more of my energy to  my autistic child and letting my other  child down  how do i remedy this  i have to say this is a this is a you  specialty any thoughts  okay yes i have my neurotypical child is  always is older and my daughter  and then malik is a few years younger  so it is a challenge  um but what i find is  um i try not to dismiss my  daughter when she’s asking me a question  or  um  needs me for something and that’s one of  the you know i try not to say  you know stop right now let me deal with  the leak  um  and i tried to  answer her questions where she where  needed  um just so that she she felt she feels  like she’s being heard  they are four years apart so they’re  completely like to do completely  different things so that’s not so much a  hassle because she’s  she likes to do her own thing anyway  um but that is one of the things that i  make sure i do is try to answer her  questions when she asks and not sort of  put it to the side a little bit  the other thing i try to do is just give  her mommy daughter time she’s a girl  yeah sort of try to set especially when  it’s they’re in different schools i look  at the situation that i’m faced with so  they’re in different schools so they  have different curriculum days so when  it’s when she’s got a curriculum day and  my son’s in school we go out she likes  starbucks so we go out for a starbucks  date  so i like to just make sure that i’m you  know giving her that time and showing  her you know  um attention and  helping her that way so that’s that’s my  little two sentence on that i don’t know  if it um if it helps  yeah i think  i think um  one of the things that i have found um  makes a difference for especially if you  do have an elder sibling um an elder  neuro  typical sibling um  you  need to be honest with them without  uh burdening them in a way that’s going  to be unhelpful be honest with them  about what you can and can’t do and why  because i think um especially when  they’re young they’re still developing  etc  often it’s not so much about the fact  that you can’t give them  maybe equal attention to  um then you’re a diverse sibling but  it’s a it’s about what they make the  difference in the attention levels or  the difference in  energy mean about themselves  and what we what we can do is interrupt  that thought process so for example  um  you’re right you know  um jenny um i do have to spend more time  with oliver but what i want you to know  is that doesn’t mean that i love you any  less or that doesn’t mean that you’re  not as important to me  or  whatever it might be however is natural  to phrase it i think  making that delineation really clear  from

 

CHAPTER IV

the get-go is gonna be really  helpful because  um it’s natural and important for kids  to want our attention that’s a survival  strategy on their part and and  we all have natural boundaries around  how much attention that we can give  but if we can be really clear that  um  everybody all our kids are different and  they all need different things from us  but that doesn’t mean that  they’re less or more or worse or better  or a favorite or a non-favorite  um  be really upfront about that be honest  um  and i think that that’s going to go a  long way to maintaining the underlying  um  relationship  you know um there are some really cool  resources for siblings of  um children with disabilities i’ll link  those in the show notes today there’s  some really cool groups that they can go  to where they can share their  experiences and that sort of thing which  i think helps because  our kids do have you know they’ve got  support workers coming over to see them  they’ve got special appointments that  they need to go to that first sibling  can feel like they’re being left out so  it can be nice to have things that they  get to go to as well you know that  especially for them um and i think that  you probably do a great job of that kind  of thing faith  um i also like to  um  explain to my kitty or my kiddos or just  um remind them of how they’ve both grown  yeah  and and say it with you know whilst  they’re both there so i’ll just be like  oh deja remember when you couldn’t do  this and yeah now you do this and malik  remember malik couldn’t couldn’t say  mommy and couldn’t say and what was his  first note and she always remembers that  so she sees his growth she sees her  growth so i feel like they can both  be proud of each other and you know in  that way so i think also just having  that remembering  you know that their siblings at the end  of the day and this so just to remove  that  rivalry barrier i know it’s always there  anyway but just to not have that  jealousy because she gets their  attention it’s just like no be proud of  your your sibling and vice versa we’re  on the same team  absolutely oh thank you faith lee i hope  that helps  please get in touch if you have any

OUTRO

other questions or if you have questions  for face um parents we would love to um  answer them on another podcast or get  faith back on to  have a parent q a that could be cool  um  so thank you so much for listening um we  will be back next week with  um another awesome you know parenting uh  autism parenting content  podcast um so  i think we will wrap it up there thank  you for coming on face um and until then  360

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Faith's Story. Autism360 parents share.
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Faith's Story. Autism360 parents share.
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This week Autism360 parent, Faith, shares her story of feeling frustrated by traditional therapy methods not improving her son's quality of life and how working with Autism360 allowed her to change their daily life forever! Faith talks about feeling heard, and guided as an individual and about the strategies that have helped her to understand her child. If you've ever wanted to ask a program parent questions about their experiences this is your opportunity! you can ask Faith questions at hello@autism360.com and she will come back on to answer them
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Autism 360
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