hello and welcome everybody to the  autism 360 podcast the autism 360 method  a weekly podcast where we talk about  everything autism 360. each week we’ll  be catching you up with what’s going on  in the program chatting with team  members and talking all things mindset  as well as exploring relevant ideas that  autism parents think about i’m your host  ella bailey autism 360 veteran coach and  explorer of all things parenting support  i come from a behavioral psychology  background and today i am lucky enough  to be rejoined  by the delightful renee tate our mindset  coach here on the program hello  hello hello ella hello um everyone who’s  listening it’s great to be here today  and um we’ve got a great topic today  we sure do so welcome our lovely  listeners we want to extend um a special  welcome to our program um  members who are listening uh today hello  thank you for joining us and uh this  podcast exists for you it exists for our  community um and we would love to hear  from you so please um  you know drop drop a line reach out at  hello  we would love to hear from you and send  in your parent questions for myself or  some of my special guests to answer in  upcoming podcasts  before we get started i would like to  acknowledge the radical people of the  eora nation on whose land i live and  work and from where this podcast is  being broadcast today and i would also  like to mention  that this podcast is not a substitute  for medical advice if you have concerns  about yourself or about your child  please do contact a medical professional  um and get some expert advice so renee  hooray

Chapter 1

such a good topic today  yes so today we’re talking about  motivation and i think it’s one that  everyone can benefit from and  particularly i find a lot of parents  sometimes just get a little bit stuck in  the weeds and it’s you know it can be a  bit of a slog sometimes and feel like am  i getting anywhere uh where are we going  and so i think it’s really important to  look at how  today we’re going to look at some tips  on how you can stay motivated and keep  on working towards your goals so  um i think sometimes i do notice ella  i’m not sure about you but a lot of the  time i find that parents are focused on  all the things they’re worried about and  they’re really projecting all that fear  and anxiety into the future worried  about  you know what’s going to happen for my  child and they sort of head in this  direction that’s all very can be a  little bit negative bit doom and gloom  and it’s no wonder that they’re not  feeling motivated because it’s um  certainly not going to motivate you to  want to to be doing  more if that’s where your mindset is at  so  what i would suggest around that if you  are struggling and wanting to feel more  motivated is first of all  take a bit of a step back and look at  first of all the bigger picture again  okay if you’re feeling a bit like i’m  stuck in will my child ever get there  toileting or if we’re ever going to get  past this stage i just want you to take  a bit of a step back and then look at  the vision that you want for your family  first of all longer term that direction  that you do want to head into so where  do you want your family to be 10 years  from now  5 years from now 12 months from now okay  and start just looking at at that where  is it that we’re actually wanting to  head rather than heading in that  direction of what we’re worried and you  know what we focus on growth so if we’re  always looking in that other direction  that’s where we’re going to head so  really important to get that that vision  for the future and then from there break  it down into some smaller goals that you  can achieve um so i often say to the  parents on the program if they’re on for  three months or you know that period of  time what is some goals that you would  like to achieve during that time maybe  it’s about being calmer maybe it’s being  happier  whatever it is for them but if we break  that down that vision down we chunk it  down a bit to some to some goals that  they can really start to work towards  and from that  i would then say break it down into some  weekly tasks so that it’s actually quite  achievable that’s quite actionable that  you go okay well what do i need to do  towards that and that really helps you  stay on track i mean we can’t hit a  target that we can’t see so how are we  going to be motivated if we don’t even  have something that we’re excited about  or we’re really wanting to achieve so i  think if you’re feeling a little bit  like you’re lacking motivation perhaps  it’s like time to set some goals for  yourself and really start to work  towards those smaller goals towards a  longer-term vision  um  and of course important to celebrate  your wins along the way um i think  that’s a


big thing is also acknowledging  yourself for how far you’ve come what  you are achieving big things and little  things and you know i think sometimes we  don’t do that enough because we’re  always focused on maybe what’s missing  what’s lacking what our child’s not  doing so rather than looking at that all  the time looking at well what have we  achieved and ticking those those things  off because success breeds success so  it’s like the more that you can  acknowledge yourself for what you are  achieving the more you’re going to want  to do more of that  um so i think that’s you know really if  you haven’t got clear about it it’s  midway through the year good time to  just go okay you know what do i want to  achieve for the future but particularly  those shorter term goals and um that  that one percent increase you know  sometimes it’s like we we need to just  keep that consistency because by the end  of the year those little increases those  little wins you’ll be amazed at how far  you come and look back and go wow you  know look at what we have achieved i  think um having that clear direction is  really really important what do you  think ella  yeah it’s interesting i’ve been  listening to well i try to listen to all  the time to um  the voices of different um different  carer groups of um autistic kids you  know i try to listen to parents of young  kids parents of teenagers parents of  30 year olds um you know really uh you  know non-speaking verbal kids and i  listened to this fantastic um  facebook live the other day from it from  an account called finding cooper’s voice  and she uh she’s always really honest  about her experience of raising her  autistic son cooper who is uh  non-speaking uh level three  um  and has you know significant  challenges significant disabilities um  and she talks about um  realizing that there is this really  tricky stage  of um autism parenting that sort of  you know four to eight um where you’re  really in the weeds you really start to  notice that your kiddo is  um not keeping up with their peers it’s  when they either get to school or don’t  it’s when they are  you know lots of kids are doing their  other first things and your child may  not be um or whatever but she she gave  this really  interesting perspective which i think  bears so well on motivation which is  that  it isn’t forever there is a season and  the season that you’re in is is just  that it’s a season and the fact that  your child is going to  be completely different in  three years four years five years um is  something that you can hold on to you  know even  a child with the most um  significant impairments is going to make  beautiful  cool groundbreaking improvements in  their own way um and i so i think um  i think all parents should go check out  that account finding cooper’s voice um  and uh have a listen to her perspective  on how you can maintain motivation and  find joy in  um your own  journey kind of thing your own um autism  parenting journey what sorts of what  sorts of challenges do you find um pose  the biggest threat to parents  motivations when you’re chatting with  them on the program renee



well look i think sometimes it’s um  they’re exhausted a lot of the time and  and their cups running a bit empty and i  always say we can’t pour from it from an  empty cup so i think having those times  to refuel yourself is really important  and for parents to think it’s okay for  me to do things that fill me up again  it’s like going and recharging your  battery um because if you are not doing  those things you get to that point where  you become a little bit uh demotivated  maybe a little bit frustrated a bit  resentful and then you’re not being your  best as a parent which does not make you  feel good so i think that’s probably one  of the biggest one is make sure you’re  doing some things to fill your cup up  and then you’ve got more to keep giving  you’re able to handle things much better  as well  um i think sometimes also  just getting started is um important and  i’ve i listened to this really good ted  talk and i’ll i have to uh remember uh  the the gentleman’s name but basically  what he was saying and he had us he had  he has adhd he’s very successful in um  in business and his life and he talked  about all the things he’s achieved but  he went from being a student that really  struggled um when he was younger to  being on the dean’s list getting honours  he really  changed his whole life and he did this  with a really clever strategy he broke  things down into five minute chunks and  said can i do that for five minutes um  and from that he was able to get started  because i think that’s a lot of the the  problem sometimes it’s just getting  started and i see sometimes parents have  houses that are a bit cluttered or  they’re like you know this is what we’re  living in that that that clutters them  up in their mind as well and then they  feel overwhelmed so i’ve just been  saying to parents can you get started  for five minutes um and they go yeah i  can do that and what you’ll find is once  you get started the chances are you’ll  want to continue because it’s like  anything whether it’s um studying or  whether it’s going um starting something  with your work whether it’s can i go for  a walk rather than looking at i’ve got  to find an hour i don’t have that time  can you go for five minutes and once you  get started you’ll be amazed at how you  will just naturally want to keep going  so i think um that’s another good  strategy that i think a lot of everyone  can benefit from is just five minutes  and that that start and it is those  small incremental increases that where  we start to get that consistency and  then we start to see results and then it  motivates us more um to want to do more  because we’re seeing oh okay i’m getting  on top of that that momentum creates  momentum um so i think that those are  some good tips for parents to to be out  of action straight away  yeah fill your cup up and do something  for yourself really important whatever  that is even if it’s i’m just gonna  meditate in bed  for five minutes a night um that’s just  a nice thing for you that you can do  regardless of what’s happening with your  family maybe you feel like you don’t  have time but also  yeah looking at those things but also  breaking things down into really  bite-sized chunks that you can implement  um and that’s not everyone can do that  i’ve had so many parents okay yeah i  could do that i can i can cook dinner  for five minutes i can sit down with my  child for five minutes  um sometimes that can be hard to just be  present and get into their world um  because it’s like i don’t have time but  you know what i can do that for five  minutes so i think that’s a really good  starting starting place  that’s how i got myself to start uh  cleaning the bathroom when it needs to  be cleaned  it was uh can i clean this whole  bathroom  i would you know rather  eat a fork um but can i do five minutes  of dusting  yes i can kind of thing and then before  you know it the bathroom’s clean right  like  yeah um it’s yeah it’s an awesome tactic  to at least like get yourself over that  initial hurdle and then that behavioral  momentum behavioral inertia kind of  carries you um once you’re already in in  the flow doesn’t it absolutely and i  think celebrating those wins along the  way as well and maybe just take a moment  sometimes to stop and reflect on how far  you’ve come what have you achieved so  far what has your child achieved and  when you start to look back and go wow  you know we are actually doing a lot  more than what i realized and changing  your mindset  from what’s missing to what we are  achieving that’s really going to inspire  you to want to keep going and doing more  so it’s a good opportunity to sit back i  did it for myself the other day i was  like i was getting frustrated and i  thought you know what let’s look at what  i’ve achieved in the last five years and  it was amazing the more that we start to  look at that the more we really start to  notice more and more things and it it  really gives you that really good boost  so i think that’s a really important one  for parents give yourself a big pat on  the back um acknowledge yourself for  what you are doing um criticism doesn’t  help you know if you’re beating yourself  up it’s just going to really weigh you  down so just really acknowledge yourself  for what you’re doing already that will  really encourage you and motivate you to  want to keep going and doing more as  well  yeah absolutely  um


i’ve got a question for us um that  pertains to this one so this is from one  of our lovely program parents rebecca  from blackwater  and she’s just asking i find myself  feeling very demotivated after every  assessment appointment where milestones  are being missed any tips for managing  motivation in the face of some  discouraging results  yes look i think that’s a common one and  sometimes it’s hard when we’re not  seeing results to to feel like well well  yeah how do i keep going how do i stay  motivated so i think just remember  sometimes we don’t see the results  straight away it’s a bit like if we go  to the gym we don’t see results on day  one we may not see results on day two  we might not even see those results for  a month but they’re going to happen just  through that consistency and so it is  about just staying focused on your goals  i think that’s where having those clear  goals really helps you stay on track  because it’s when we start losing track  of those things that’s when we can get a  bit lost and lose our way a bit so i  think  stick to your goals keep going even


though you’re not seeing results  straight away just keep focusing on that  outcome of what you want to achieve um  yeah and really just celebrate the small  wins even if you’re not getting the  actual results just yet  celebrate the fact that you know what  we’re doing it we’re we’re trying my  child’s trying i’m trying we’re doing  the best we can and just acknowledge  yourself for that because that’s an  achievement in itself um and i think  that the more that we can be very kind  and  um praising ourselves and being proud of  those things that it certainly helps  keep going um as well  yeah absolutely and i think rebecca i  would say  you know we spent a lot of time working  out what motivates our children to push  through things that are hard we spend a  lot of time working out you know  reinforcement schedules or reward charts  or you know whatever it might be that’s  going to motivate them to  um  you know  help them to learn new skills to do  things that are um not in their  wheelhouse and whatnot and so i think  we should take that enthusiasm and that  um  persistence that we bring to try to  motivate our child to try to motivate  ourselves you know figure out what  motivates you  if what actually motivates you is you  know specifically the feedback from  those assessments  then really tailor what you’re doing to  figure that out you know i think  if figuring out what you actually need  to feel fulfilled  um and then figuring out a system to  work towards those things is going to be  super helpful we’re all motivated by  different things we all um  have different uh  we all have different levels you know to  which we’re working willing to work for  for one thing or for the other so take  time to reflect on that and figure out  you know what really motivates me to  push through this thing that is hard um  and and depending on what you come up  with be strategic about the way that you  deploy that in your life and i think it  will make a difference you know i’m um  i’m a uh i’m a praise motivated person i  really love getting positive feedback  from people getting positive feedback  from clients and that sort of thing that  i really um thrive on that but not  everybody does you know i have a lot of  clients who um find that really  uncomfortable or awkward kind of thing  in fact my sister just can’t stand being  praised uh it’s hilarious and um so you  know work work on that see what works  for you what do you think renae  oh definitely some people are definitely  a bit more carrot some people are a bit  more stick um maybe yeah absolutely look  at those break it down into smaller  things but absolutely i think that’s a  great tip and if you’re a stick person  you’re better with that well what will  happen if i don’t do this maybe look at  you know what is my why um what regrets  will i have if i don’t follow through on  this and make sure that those things are  really clear um because that might drive  you more to go i don’t want to have  regrets i don’t want my child to miss  out on this or that and that may  actually motivate you more i think the  other thing to look at is other things  that maybe you didn’t think you would  overcome once upon a time that you have  now and you you might take that for  granted oh well now we can just do that  but once upon a time that might have  felt like a goal that you didn’t know  how you would achieve you wondered if  you’d ever get there but i’m sure if you  look back you’ll see those milestones  along the way so that might just give  you that ability to go wow you know keep  going because it is worth it and i  always say to people  don’t stop three feet from gold  sometimes we are closer um to achieving  it than what we realize so make sure you  keep going and um and if you do i’m sure  you’ll get those results yes absolutely  um rebecca please um let us know if  that’s helpful we would love to hear  from you and uh we’re going to finish up  today with some action points from our  lovely renee where do you think our  parents should start with this this week  well i always say in any session with my  uh without lovely parents or the group  sessions is uh what’s the biggest thing  that you’re taking away from today uh  first of all and what can you action  from today uh so make sure you put some  of those things into action even if it’s  just one one or two things that action  is so important awareness is great but  without action and actually getting that  happening it really doesn’t have the  benefit so just um  make a clear commitment to yourself that  you’re going to put these things into  action today and you will start to get  that momentum  and you’ll really


start to get that um  that success  yep absolutely and i think um for those  listeners who aren’t on the program um  or who you know are maybe army and  hiring i think something that really  helps with um with motivation is how  the program really lays out a clear path  of how of to success you know i think  it’s a finite timeline and every program  is personalized  by your allied health professional coach  and i think that  it can really help with motivation to  get that kind of boost in productivity  to be really held accountable even for  even for just a finite timeline and to  get a bit of a you know a bit of a  a turbo charge to your progress you know  um so please reach out let us know if we  can help you um you know inquire about  the program at hello thank you so much for  joining us and thank you as always to uh  the lovely renee our mindset guru  thank you thank you everyone  um so we will uh join you again next  week with another uh topic relevant to  autism parenting um so thank you very  very much for being here with us today  and until then uh think360.  see you

Motivation and going the distance keeping our families on track
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Motivation and going the distance keeping our families on track
and Renae are reunited to discuss motivation this week. Motivation for us as parents, keeping ourselves on task and how to meet our own needs. How well do we understand our own neurological needs and how they impact those we care for? Join us to be informed, uplifted, motivated and refreshed with Renae, our Autism360 mindset coach.
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Autism 360
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