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Weekly podcast where we talk about everything autism 360. each week we’ll be catching you up with what’s going on in the program chatting with team members and talking all things mindset as well as exploring relevant ideas that autism parents think about this week I am joined by the delightful and stunning Renee uh our special and delightful mindset and behavior coach welcome back hello thank you Ella hello everyone it’s it’s great to be here again and um lovely to discuss a very nice topic very good for this time of the year it is isn’t it it’s very seasonal parenting joy and I’m your host Ella Bailey I’m an Autism 360 vet and Coach just had my third anniversary at the company right and an Explorer of all things parenting support before becoming an Autism 360 team member I worked in psychological research and behavioral psychology and welcome to you the stars of our show our lovely listeners we care about you and your experiences so whether you’re a program member or not we would love to hear from you please do drop us a line at hello at autism360.com we love your questions I always ask your questions to our special guests um and we would love to get your feedback as well so before we start I’d like to acknowledge the gadigal and wangle people of the era Nation on Whose land I live and work and from where this podcast is being broadcast today and also mentioned that this podcast does not substitute as medical advice if you’re concerned about yourself or about a loved one please do access medical advice and today we get to talk about the loveliest of all topics parenting Joy I feel like this is totally in your wheelhouse Renee yes well it’s um it’s actually one that we’ve discussed in our group mindset coaching session
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the other day and I thought very relevant for this time of the year I think a lot of parents are a little and children are tired at this time of the year in our carers as well and I think sometimes when we’re like that we start to lose a bit of that joy and it would be really nice to to get that for the holidays for Christmas and just find ways to be able to put that into your day every day regardless of what’s Happening of course we all want to feel that joy and I think a lot of what I find a lot of parents they get into a bit of a trap where they they compare their children a lot to other children and I find this all the time it’s one of the things that parents talk to me a lot about on the program they say you know I can’t stop I just you know get often comparing and it really you know comparison is the thief of joy and I think that’s something that we really need to remember that when we’re comparing we really lose our joy and our enjoyment of our own children so in the group session the other day one of the parents actually said she’s changed her mindset and she’s actually started stops comparing her child to other children and she’s actually started comparing her child to where her child was um in the past and has started actually looking at those at that progress and those milestones and she said I just feel so much better because I can see that we’re making so much progress my child has you know changed and progressed so much and it just really changed her whole experience of parenting and um so I just thought that was a really important one to remember maybe just instead of comparing to other children look at how your child is progressing developing those small Milestones those big ones whatever they are that’s going to really bring you a lot more joy and and make you feel great and that’s what it’s all about is enjoying them and their unique qualities and you know just how how they’re going um and we do see a lot of progress on the program so that’s you know something that I think a lot of parents really when they look back even in just three months it’s like wow I can’t believe how much we’ve achieved so make sure you take time to reflect on that and enjoy those those successes and those wins um so yeah that that was the first one I wanted to cover today Ella um this yeah the second tip that I had was also thinking about what brings you Joy um so often we’re not really consciously aware of those things that bring us enjoyment in our life and they can be big things but they’re often small things I I know myself I was listening to some beautiful rainforest music the other day and I was just like this was it was so in so enjoyable it was just lovely and you know it may just be those little things like having a laugh with your child uh maybe just getting out in the sunshine and you know getting that beautiful sun on your back maybe it’s ringing up a friend and having a bit of a laugh and a chat but just get clear about what are those things that do bring you Joy because often they’re actually small things um that that makes us the happiest and so it doesn’t have to be oh well when that’s happening then I’m you know they’ve all these big things that we wait for just get clear about that write down your list of things that bring you Joy and May make your conscious effort to put those things into your life even if it’s once a week I make an effort to do something that brings me some joy and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time either so that was another one that I think we could all benefit from absolutely absolutely oh my goodness yes there’s something that this makes me
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think of which is that this time of year lots of schools are doing award ceremonies now award Ceremonies for me are an interesting almost social microcosm of of rewarding sort of uh milestones and achievements and behaviors and those sorts of things and often there are Minefield for parents of kiddos who aren’t kind of don’t fall within that typical development or they may not you know really be up up for up for any awards or anything like that and that can be such a thief of Joy right like yes it’s such a good point Ella yeah and I think what it makes me think of especially your first point was okay maybe your kiddo isn’t going to get an award this year but can they attend the awards ceremony when last year they weren’t able to manage the sensory discomfort but now they have better strategies to help themselves cope with that what an amazing achievement like no they’re not getting a reward but what are they doing you know what are they um able to to do and that is a really actually the reason that I think of it is because you know I have had multiple clients today whose children have been at award ceremonies end of year ceremonies dance concerts are all happening this time of year and it can be a really stark contrast when your kiddo it’s not going to happen for them necessarily but what is going to happen for them like really seeking out those moments of joy and really choosing to not compare yourself to you know Joe Brainiac who’s getting 50 bajillion Awards kind of thing yeah yeah that’s right and they all have their unique qualities and talents and I think it’s just remembering that as well that they may not be strong in that area but maybe they’re stronger in in different areas and I know myself there was um times where that might have gone for a few years without getting awards at the ceremonies but then you know down the track who knows like things can definitely change so um it doesn’t mean that that will never happen but as you said it’s about celebrating those wins and um successes yeah that that really are the things that matter the most thank you yeah so the other thing um I thought would be a lovely project for the families over Christmas and this is the concept of having a joy jar and I just love this idea because it actually is a jar that you can make with your children um do for the over the Christmas or whenever and um just what it is is you actually look for things each day that bring you Joy or anything that you know you you like about the day uh and you actually write it down on a bit of paper and you put it in the joy jar and I love this idea because I think it really gets us to start looking at those things that we can appreciate and be grateful for it might just be you know I enjoyed sitting and having a cuddle with my child today or I enjoyed that you know um we were able to just have a really good day together whatever those little things are but the whole idea is that it really starts to shift your focus to things that are more joyful and the other part I really love about this um not well also the children I think it’s nice for them to be consciously aware of that as well but the other thing I really like about this idea is that whenever you need a bit of a pick-me-up or a lift if you’re having a bit of a day where you’re like you know I’m not feeling great today maybe you’re not seeing all those lovely things and um feeling joyful you can go back through the Georgia and have a look at all those little bits of paper and really find enjoyment in that as well so that was just one I thought that would be lovely to do as a family really enjoy that and um yeah make that a bit of fun absolutely I have a a journaling prompt that I start I journal every day and I start every day with journaling just a one line of of something that I’m grateful for and I’ve found a real mood booster is to go back through my previous years of journals and look at those one line of gratitude and oh my good goodness you know it’s it’s something that’s so simple but being able to be like oh yeah I am really grateful for that um is yeah I guess it’s kind of saying um a similar thing to a joy jar absolutely it shifts your focus and really it there is so much mindset isn’t it so um just shifting our mindset
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can just change everything so you know hopefully this um today does help our listeners become more aware of just how you can put some joy in your life again and enjoy that parenting Journey so much more just by doing some simple strategies shifting your mindset um really makes a very big difference yeah yeah mindset is is keying when it comes to these sorts of things I think the idea of joy is actually made up of a bunch of different kind of individual Concepts a lot of people think that happiness and joy are the same thing but I think that there’s more to it than that um you know happiness is is really fleeting or can be really fleeting it’s an emotion that kind of comes and goes whereas Joy is a more permanent State um that being said you know they’re very interlinked but um something that I find um brings me a lot of joy is especially is knowing what role having a really positive emotion has on my overall Outlook so I might be having a really tricky day you know clients are struggling work’s really busy whatever it might be um and I know that having you know I’m having all these negative emotions or whatever that that doesn’t impact my joy kind of as a long-term State having negative emotions in the moment doesn’t impact my joy My Love For Life my gratitude and I think that being able to remember that negative emotions are fleeting they come and they go um it can be something that’s helpful in terms of um being able to see the bigger picture of of the stories of our lives and that being said you know a a funny dog video um you know dancing to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack they’re my they’re my go-to’s when I need it yeah absolutely just fill in that cup the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack it’s my go-to I like that one too brings back lots of happy memories with my children actually so um yes those little things those little things just you know being clear about what they are that’s why I think write it down because you could have some things that very quickly you could go to whenever you need that pick me up and also uh Ella you know one of the things I think that makes a really big difference is as you said you start your day in a very intentional way writing down what I’m grateful for setting yourself up you know managing your state which when you do that things can come at you throughout the day and it doesn’t impact you as much it’s like you’ve sort of got control of yourself and your your state rather than being you know just really influenced by whatever the day throws at you so it really is important and I talk to a lot of parents about that could you do even five or ten minutes for yourself when you wake up or while you’re lying in bed go through some things to be grateful for or could you get out and do a quick walk I know everyone’s situation is different but I think if you could find something that helps you put yourself in that positive joyful state it really makes a very big difference and and you’re just able to manage things better even if the children are mucking up or something’s not working out or you’ve got some different you know difficult situations you’re able to really just deal with things a lot better so maybe just have a think about what you could do in the morning or um you know at whatever time of the day but the morning is definitely a good way to set yourself up for the day yeah I’ve started um meditating in the morning which uh feels it feels very um uh I don’t know um a bit uh bougie maybe is the word um you know I meditate in the mornings but um I’ve started using headspace the app which works really well for me because it sets out your day in terms of your morning meditation practices they’re
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super short one to three minutes and then it gives you a kind of afternoon pick-me-up and then it gives you a wind down um for the end of the day so you don’t have to figure anything out yourself you don’t even have to go in and pick the meditation that you want to do it just lays everything out for you however all of that is behind a paywall but there is a a really good alternative um and it’s Australian app called smiling mind and they do just as good um free meditation options for a guided meditation I find that much more accessible than trying to meditate um of my own accord and that’s made such a difference to My overall I want to say quality of life you know just taking that time in the mornings to wake up and meditate um and that kind of thing has has really changed things for the better I think yeah I think a lot of people are open to that now a lot of the parents I talk to about meditating their they’re really on the mindset program they’re very open to it and they’re like yes I I am or I really liked you and and we look at how could you just find that as you said it might be one minute might be five minutes but it’s something that I think is really a lovely thing to do for yourself and fill your cup up and that definitely um makes a really big difference to how you feel and and your enjoyment in life in general yeah absolutely and I hope that this podcast provides a little bit of that for our lovely listeners just a little bit of understanding maybe some laughs um and also just being able to choose some joy in your day um is there anything that you would like for our parents to take away and give a try this week Renee look I really think the joy jar is a great idea and something I think is a nice thing to do with your children uh so yeah I look I think that just doing that would be a great takeaway um you know make sure your actions and something from today that’s what I always say uh really makes a big difference it’s one thing to know it and to hear it but if you could put one thing into action that will really start to get that positive momentum happening for you and and you’ll notice the difference give it give it a week and um look back and you’ll start to realize that you’re feeling a lot better so I just really encourage you to think what could you do whether i
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t’s writing down that list of things that bring you Joy maybe it’s doing some meditation perhaps it’s the Georgia I think that’s a nice holiday project to do anyway um for all of you uh so yeah I hope you have some fun with that yes you know what Renee I think we should make a Jojo and autism 360 Georgia absolutely you know what we’ll go on the Facebook group and I’ll make a post and we can do our own digital Joy jar wonderful I love it yes and we can get the parents involved and the carers involved and that would be lovely and we can everyone can share their wins and their joy and all those beautiful things it’s contagious it really is isn’t it absolutely okay deal pinky promise I’ll go do it I love it thank you so much for joining me this week Renee it’s always so lovely to have you back thank you I love being here and I wish everyone a wonderful holidays and um yes look forward to the next one absolutely thank you so much for joining us our lovely listeners we’ll be back next week with another topic that is relevant to you what you’re thinking about and also to your kiddos so until then let’s bring progress home
