INTRO

Weekly podcast where we talk about  everything autism 360. each week we’ll  be catching you up with what’s going on  in the program chatting with team  members and talking all things mindset  as well as exploring relevant ideas that  autism parents think about this week I  am joined by the delightful and stunning  Renee uh our special and delightful  mindset and behavior coach welcome back  hello thank you Ella hello everyone it’s  it’s great to be here again and um  lovely to discuss a very nice topic very  good for this time of the year it is  isn’t it it’s very seasonal parenting  joy and I’m your host Ella Bailey I’m an  Autism 360 vet and Coach just had my  third anniversary at the company right  and an Explorer of all things parenting  support before becoming an Autism 360  team member I worked in psychological  research and behavioral psychology and  welcome to you the stars of our show our  lovely listeners we care about you and  your experiences so whether you’re a  program member or not we would love to  hear from you please do drop us a line  at hello at autism360.com we love your  questions I always ask your questions to  our special guests  um and we would love to get your  feedback as well so before we start I’d  like to acknowledge the gadigal and  wangle people of the era Nation on Whose  land I live and work and from where this  podcast is being broadcast today and  also mentioned that this podcast does  not substitute as medical advice if  you’re concerned about yourself or about  a loved one please do access medical  advice and today we get to talk about  the loveliest of all topics parenting  Joy I feel like this is totally in your  wheelhouse Renee  yes well it’s um it’s actually one that  we’ve discussed in our group mindset  coaching session

 

CHAPTER I

the other day and I  thought very relevant for this time of  the year I think a lot of parents are a  little and children are tired at this  time of the year in our carers as well  and I think sometimes when we’re like  that we start to lose a bit of that joy  and it would be really nice to to get  that for the holidays for Christmas and  just find ways to be able to put that  into your day every day regardless of  what’s Happening of course we all want  to feel that joy and I think a lot of  what I find a lot of parents they get  into a bit of a trap where they they  compare their children a lot to other  children and I find this all the time  it’s one of the things that parents talk  to me a lot about on the program they  say you know I can’t stop I just you  know get often comparing and it really  you know comparison is the thief of joy  and I think that’s something that we  really need to remember that when we’re  comparing we really lose our joy and our  enjoyment of our own children so in the  group session the other day one of the  parents actually said she’s changed her  mindset and she’s actually started stops  comparing her child to other children  and she’s actually started comparing her  child to where her child was  um in the past and has started actually  looking at those at that progress and  those milestones and she said I just  feel so much better because I can see  that we’re making so much progress my  child has you know changed and  progressed so much and it just really  changed her whole experience of  parenting and  um so I just thought that was a really  important one to remember maybe just  instead of comparing to other children  look at how your child is progressing  developing those small Milestones those  big ones whatever they are that’s going  to really bring you a lot more joy and  and make you feel great and that’s what  it’s all about is enjoying them and  their unique qualities and you know just  how how they’re going um and we do see a  lot of progress on the program so that’s  you know something that I think a lot of  parents really when they look back even  in just three months it’s like wow I  can’t believe how much we’ve achieved so  make sure you take time to reflect on  that and enjoy those those successes and  those wins um so yeah that that was the  first one I wanted to cover today Ella  um this yeah the second tip that I had  was also thinking about what brings you  Joy  um so often we’re not really consciously  aware of those things that bring us  enjoyment in our life and they can be  big things but they’re often small  things I I know myself I was listening  to some beautiful rainforest music the  other day and I was just like this was  it was so in so enjoyable it was just  lovely and you know it may just be those  little things like having a laugh with  your child uh maybe just getting out in  the sunshine and you know getting that  beautiful sun on your back maybe it’s  ringing up a friend and having a bit of  a laugh and a chat but just get clear  about what are those things that do  bring you Joy because often they’re  actually small things  um that that makes us the happiest and  so it doesn’t have to be oh well when  that’s happening then I’m you know  they’ve all these big things that we  wait for just get clear about that write  down your list of things that bring you  Joy and May make your conscious effort  to put those things into your life even  if it’s once a week I make an effort to  do something that brings me some joy and  it doesn’t have to take a lot of time  either so that was another one that I  think we could all benefit from  absolutely absolutely oh my goodness yes  there’s something that this makes me

 

CHAPTER II

 

think of which is that this time of year  lots of schools are doing award  ceremonies  now award Ceremonies for me are an  interesting almost social microcosm of  of rewarding sort of uh milestones and  achievements and behaviors and those  sorts of things and often there are  Minefield for parents of kiddos who  aren’t kind of don’t fall within that  typical development or they may not you  know really be up up for up for any  awards or anything like that and that  can be such a thief of Joy right like  yes it’s such a good point Ella yeah and  I think what it makes me think of  especially your first point was okay  maybe your kiddo isn’t going to get an  award this year but can they attend the  awards ceremony when last year they  weren’t able to manage the sensory  discomfort but now they have better  strategies to help themselves cope with  that what an amazing achievement like no  they’re not getting a reward but what  are they doing you know what are they  um able to to do and that is a really  actually  the reason that I think of it is because  you know I have had multiple clients  today whose children have been at award  ceremonies end of year ceremonies dance  concerts are all happening this time of  year and it can be a really stark  contrast when your kiddo  it’s not going to happen for them  necessarily but what is going to happen  for them like really seeking out those  moments of joy and really choosing to  not compare yourself to you know Joe  Brainiac who’s getting 50 bajillion  Awards kind of thing yeah yeah that’s  right and they all have their unique  qualities and talents and I think it’s  just remembering that as well that they  may not be strong in that area but maybe  they’re stronger in in different areas  and I know myself there was  um times where that might have gone for  a few years without getting awards at  the ceremonies but then you know down  the track who knows like things can  definitely change so  um it doesn’t mean that that will never  happen but as you said it’s about  celebrating those wins and um successes  yeah that that really are the things  that matter the most  thank you yeah so the other thing um I  thought would be a lovely project for  the families over Christmas and this is  the concept of having a joy jar and I  just love this idea because it actually  is a jar that you can make with your  children  um do for the over the Christmas or  whenever and um just what it is is you  actually look for things each day that  bring you Joy or anything that you know  you you like about the day uh and you  actually write it down on a bit of paper  and you put it in the joy jar and I love  this idea because I think it really gets  us to start looking at those things that  we can appreciate and be grateful for it  might just be you know I enjoyed sitting  and having a cuddle with my child today  or I enjoyed that you know  um we were able to just have a really  good day together whatever those little  things are but the whole idea is that it  really starts to shift your focus to  things that are more joyful and the  other part I really love about this um  not well also the children I think it’s  nice for them to be consciously aware of  that as well but the other thing I  really like about this idea is that  whenever you need a bit of a pick-me-up  or a lift if you’re having a bit of a  day where you’re like you know I’m not  feeling great today maybe you’re not  seeing all those lovely things and um  feeling joyful you can go back through  the Georgia and have a look at all those  little bits of paper and really find  enjoyment in that as well so that was  just one I thought that would be lovely  to do as a family really enjoy that and  um yeah make that a bit of fun  absolutely I have a a journaling prompt  that I start I journal every day and I  start every day with journaling just a  one line of of something that I’m  grateful for and I’ve found a real mood  booster is to go back through my  previous years of journals and look at  those one line of gratitude and oh my  good goodness you know it’s it’s  something that’s so simple but being  able to be like oh yeah I am really  grateful for that  um is yeah I guess it’s kind of saying  um a similar thing to a joy jar  absolutely it shifts your focus and  really it there is so much mindset isn’t  it so  um just shifting our mindset

 

CHAPTER III

 

can just  change everything so you know hopefully  this um today does help our listeners  become more aware of just how you can  put some joy in your life again and  enjoy that parenting Journey so much  more just by doing some simple  strategies shifting your mindset  um really makes a very big difference  yeah yeah mindset is is keying when it  comes to these sorts of things I think  the idea of joy is actually made up of a  bunch of different kind of individual  Concepts a lot of people think that  happiness and joy are the same thing but  I think that there’s more to it than  that  um you know happiness is is really  fleeting or can be really fleeting it’s  an emotion that kind of comes and goes  whereas Joy is a more permanent State  um that being said you know they’re very  interlinked but  um something that I find  um brings me a lot of joy is especially  is  knowing what role having a really  positive emotion has on my overall  Outlook  so I might be having a really tricky day  you know clients are struggling work’s  really busy whatever it might be  um and I know that having you know I’m  having all these negative emotions or  whatever  that that doesn’t impact my joy kind of  as a long-term State having negative  emotions in the moment doesn’t impact my  joy My Love For Life my gratitude and I  think that being able to remember that  negative emotions are fleeting they come  and they go  um it can be something that’s helpful in  terms of  um  being able to see the bigger picture of  of the stories of our lives and that  being said  you know a a funny dog video  um you know dancing to the Beauty and  the Beast soundtrack they’re my they’re  my go-to’s when I need it  yeah absolutely just fill in that cup  the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack it’s  my go-to I like that one too brings back  lots of happy memories with my children  actually so um yes those little things  those little things just you know being  clear about what they are that’s why I  think write it down because you could  have some things that very quickly you  could go to whenever you need that pick  me up and also uh Ella you know one of  the things I think that makes a really  big difference is as you said you start  your day in a very intentional way  writing down what I’m grateful for  setting yourself up you know managing  your state which when you do that things  can come at you throughout the day and  it doesn’t impact you as much it’s like  you’ve sort of got control of yourself  and your your state rather than being  you know just really influenced by  whatever the day throws at you so it  really is important and I talk to a lot  of parents about that could you do even  five or ten minutes for yourself when  you wake up or while you’re lying in bed  go through some things to be grateful  for or could you get out and do a quick  walk I know everyone’s situation is  different but I think if you could find  something that helps you put yourself in  that positive joyful state it really  makes a very big difference and and  you’re just able to manage things better  even if the children are mucking up or  something’s not working out or you’ve  got some different you know difficult  situations you’re able to really just  deal with things a lot better so maybe  just have a think about what you could  do in the morning or um you know at  whatever time of the day but the morning  is definitely a good way to set yourself  up for the day  yeah I’ve started  um  meditating in the morning which uh feels  it feels very um uh I don’t know  um a bit uh bougie maybe is the word  um you know I meditate in the mornings  but um I’ve started using headspace the  app which works really well for me  because  it sets out your day in terms of your  morning meditation practices they’re

 

CHAPTER IV

 

super short one to three minutes and  then it gives you a kind of afternoon  pick-me-up and then it gives you a wind  down  um for the end of the day so you don’t  have to figure anything out yourself you  don’t even have to go in and pick the  meditation that you want to do it just  lays everything out for you however all  of that is behind a paywall but there is  a a really good alternative  um and it’s Australian app called  smiling mind and they do just as good  um free meditation options for a guided  meditation I find that much more  accessible than trying to meditate  um of my own accord and that’s made such  a difference to My overall I want to say  quality of life you know just taking  that time in the mornings to wake up and  meditate  um and that kind of thing has has really  changed things for the better I think  yeah I think a lot of people are open to  that now a lot of the parents I talk to  about meditating their they’re really on  the mindset program they’re very open to  it and they’re like yes I I am or I  really liked you and and we look at how  could you just find that as you said it  might be one minute might be five  minutes but it’s something that I think  is really a lovely thing to do for  yourself and fill your cup up and that  definitely  um makes a really big difference to how  you feel and and your enjoyment in life  in general  yeah absolutely and I hope that this  podcast provides a little bit of that  for our lovely listeners just a little  bit of understanding maybe some laughs  um and also just being able to choose  some joy in your day  um is there anything that you would like  for our parents to take away and give a  try this week Renee look I really think  the joy jar is a great idea and  something I think is a nice thing to do  with your children uh so yeah I look I  think that just doing that would be a  great takeaway  um you know make sure your actions and  something from today that’s what I  always say uh really makes a big  difference it’s one thing to know it and  to hear it but if you could put one  thing into action that will really start  to get that positive momentum happening  for you and and you’ll notice the  difference give it give it a week and um  look back and you’ll start to realize  that you’re feeling a lot better so I  just really encourage you to think what  could you do whether i

OUTRO

 

t’s writing down  that list of things that bring you Joy  maybe it’s doing some meditation perhaps  it’s the Georgia I think that’s a nice  holiday project to do anyway  um for all of you uh so yeah I hope you  have some fun with that yes you know  what Renee I think we should make a Jojo  and autism 360 Georgia  absolutely you know what we’ll go on the  Facebook group and I’ll make a post and  we can do our own digital Joy jar  wonderful I love it yes and we can get  the parents involved and the carers  involved and that would be lovely and we  can everyone can share their wins and  their joy and all those beautiful things  it’s contagious it really is isn’t it  absolutely okay deal pinky promise I’ll  go do it I love it thank you so much for  joining me this week Renee it’s always  so lovely to have you back thank you I  love being here and I wish everyone a  wonderful holidays and  um yes look forward to the next one  absolutely thank you so much for joining  us our lovely listeners we’ll be back  next week with another topic that is  relevant to you what you’re thinking  about and also to your kiddos so until  then let’s bring progress home

Summary
Autism and the White food diet
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Autism and the White food diet
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This week on the podcast Ella and Renae talk about parenting joy and give us some tips on how we can all choose joy in our lives and in our parenting journey. Be sure to check out the digital 'joy-jar' that Ella and Renar chat about over on our facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/autism360
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Autism 360
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