INTRO
hello and welcome to the autism 360 method i am renee tate i’m the mindset coach on the autism 360. program and i’m really excited to be here today to do today’s podcast session with you and hello to all our lovely listeners out there looking forward to helping you today around moving from feeling as if you’re feeling a bit hopeless today we’re going to look at how you can change that to really feel hopeful again now remember to this is not for medical purposes this podcast so if you do need specific medical advice please see your medical professionals and we can get into our podcast topic for today so often when i’m speaking to parents on the program they are often sometimes feeling a bit hopeless maybe they’ve lost their purpose they’ve lost their joy they’re feeling a little bit stuck in the weeds and it can all get a little bit hard you know parenting in itself is is challenging enough and particularly when you’ve got extra challenges with with your child whatever that may be so today we’re going to look at three ways that you can really start to change that and put you back in the driver’s seat feeling really hopeful and hopefully even excited about the future again so the first tip i have for you today is when we’re going through a challenging time you know sometimes we think why me or why has this happened to me and we can really struggle with coming to peace with that and accepting what’s happening for us now one of the things that i find is really powerful is when we’re going through some challenges rather than focusing on you know those challenges and what’s happening is to shift our mindset and really look at what are the blessings in this because you know what there’s always blessings that we can take from any challenge that we go through now when we can really learn from our challenges we can grow and we can take those blessings from it this is when we’re really empowered we can turn those challenges into a positive and it helps us really grow as people as parents we can become even better parents than what we would have been otherwise i know myself having some challenges when my children were younger i i really look back and think as hard as it was at the time so many blessings came from that and it really did make me a much better mother um i i became a mother that i probably wouldn’t have ever been had i’ve not been through that i became a lot more uh dedicated a lot more um committed um you know i really learned to put in that time and energy and and i got the results in the end by doing that so um you know whatever those challenges are that you are going through right now i really encourage you to look at you know what can i learn from this um because there’s always learnings that we can take from any challenge and when we can take those learnings and and grow um that’s when we change that situation and and we can really step into the
CHAPTER I
blessings and and take those blessings that are coming from it so even just take a moment and think about first of all what can i learn from this um and what are the blessings that i can take from this and i promise you there is always blessings that you can take from any situation i’ve been doing this for many years now and i have the pleasure of working with parents on the program and it’s amazing how when they shift their mindset and start looking at those things their whole experience really starts to change so that’s my first tip for today okay now the second thing i would really encourage you to look at if you’re feeling a bit hopeless maybe a bit powerless is to look at what are you focusing on so again it’s like where am i putting my attention um often we get a little bit stuck in focusing on what’s outside of our control and looking at all those things that we really are powerless around maybe it’s looking at you’re worried about things that have happened in the past maybe you’re looking at you know you’re worried about what do other people think other people’s opinions and i know that can be a big one for people um they worry about other people what do they think when my child’s doing this or that um maybe it’s worrying about the economy or the climate and things like that but really at the end of the day are largely out of your control so what i really encourage you to do is look at what’s in your zone of control so we have a zone of control and a zone of influence and then those other things that are outside of our control it’s time to let go of those maybe you’re stuck in the past or you’re carrying around some baggage from the past or as i said you’re worried about what other people are thinking and you’re losing a lot of your your power and your energy by doing that so i really encourage you to look at what is in my control and when you can really start to master that area of your life it is amazing at how much more effective you can be how much more positive you can feel um you’ll start to feel in control again as well and it’s really empowering to master yourself and and your own life in in that way so some of the things that you are in control of is um looking at your mindset and your perspective how you’re looking at things and we just did an exercise looking at you know how can i grow from this what are the blessings what can i take from this rather than you know i’m stuck in this challenge and and focusing on that problem um your actions okay like where do you put your action and your energy okay that is in your control maybe you feel like you don’t have a lot of spare time things like that but your time at the end of the day those things um are in your control and maybe there’s some ways that you can really master that maybe there’s some areas where you you can look at and go actually how effective is that time that i’m spending on that maybe you’re spending a bit too much time on social media or things that are sort of sucking your energy rather than helping you feel more empowered and and helping you become the parent that you want to be okay um who you’re being as a parent i mean those things are in your control are you responding um to what’s happening or are you reacting are you focusing on the the problem or are you focusing on the solutions okay all of these things are in your control so i really encourage you um to to change your focus and start looking at what’s in my zone of control what can i really master and i promise you just that one step
CHAPTER II
will change your life if you can really let go of those other things even sometimes our children and their behavior yes we can influence them of course that’s what we’re here to do but sometimes there’s things that we just need to go you know what there’s times where i can’t control everything but i’m going to look at how am i responding to that situation and and i’m really proud of myself how i handled that i was able to stay calm in that situation so managing our emotions um our thoughts these things are in our control and i know sometimes it can feel like but my thoughts just have a life of their own or um how do i get in control of my emotions i know sometimes we don’t know exactly how to do that but this is what i’m here for on the program i do a lot of work with people around those things and um absolutely they those things are still within your control so have a look at that and just look at what are some areas what are some gaps of how i could really master those areas of my life and really be very mindful and effective in those areas because when you really put your time and energy and your focus into the area of your control that zone of control you will really start to change your life so that’s that’s exciting and your children will get the benefit of that as well of course okay uh so that’s my second tip for today now my third tip is to look at one of the things i love about working with parents on the program is when they come to me and they’re feeling a bit down and a bit lost one of the things we do is we do a goal setting session for them while they’re on the program as well so not only are they working on wonderful things for their child and goals but i often say how would you like to be feeling or what would you like to have happen in your life in the next three months in the next 12 months and as soon as they start focusing on that goal of what do they want for their life they they just change they they go from that feeling of hopelessness to hopefulness okay to positivity all of a sudden their whole their whole demeanor changes and they start focusing on what they want so i really really encourage you to take a moment and think about if you could achieve anything that you wanted between now and 12 months from now step out to that point close your eyes just step into that and think about don’t worry about the house right now but if you could achieve everything you’ve wanted between now and then and um you know could be living your best life 12 months from now what would that be like for you how would you be feeling what would you be doing what would be happening with your family now obviously we want to make it realistic and achievable but it’s amazing what people achieve in 12 months
CHAPTER III
i work with people over periods of time and they really can change so many parts of their life that right now may not seem possible so i really encourage you to take a moment to step into that and look at what does that look and feel like for you and then write it down okay um this is so powerful to really capture that whatever came up for you in 12 months from now now the other thing i get people to do is if while you’re there is look at what advice would you give to yourself today 12 months from now as well because there’s some really good advice that your future self will give to you as well so with that new vision your 12 month vision for your life from that we can break that down into some smaller goals as well okay but what i really want you to do is to look at the story that maybe you’re stuck in right now now we all get stuck in a story of what’s happened in the past and what’s happening for us in our life and my child this and this is happening and that’s happening now maybe some of it is a positive story but maybe there’s some parts of your story you don’t want to keep creating and focusing on and talking about because whatever you’re talking about focusing on that’s actually what you’re creating more of it’s sort of keeping you stuck in that story so i really encourage you to even just um sit down and write down what is the story that i’m telling myself over and over again what is it that i’m talking to my friends about over and over again now i’ve had people that have just this alone changing their story it will change your life um okay now um looking at that old story i i would encourage you to write it down rip it up burn it safely um flush it down the toilet whatever you would like to do with it but absolutely just draw a line in the sand today and just commit to yourself to start telling a new story just go i’m not going to tell that old story anymore now i know sometimes it’s hard when people are asking you about what’s happening with this and that and you’re seeing specialists and sometimes that can get a little bit negative because that’s all we’re doing is focusing on what problems need to be fixed but as often as you can i really encourage you to start looking at that new 12-month story that you saw for your future write it down and start focusing on that start talking about that even if you don’t know how that’s all going to unfold just now it is amazing what can start to happen just by shifting your focus talking about that news story putting your energy into that the way that your mind works it will start finding ways for you to achieve that all of a sudden things will start turning up opportunities may start happening that little bit of advice that helped with um overcoming whatever that other challenge was that you were stuck in before all of a sudden those solutions things start changing you start moving in the direction of that news story of what you want rather than what you don’t want and focusing on that now that is a really powerful strategy that can completely change your life so looking at that new story get rid of the old one stop talking about it whenever you can um you know i realize there’s times we have to go and talk to our coaches and our specialists and things like that but as often as you can focusing on that new story of what you want for your family for your life for your future and start moving towards that maybe set yourself some shorter term goals some 90-day goals some six-month goals towards that break those down into maybe your top three goals for the next 90 days just to chunk it down a bit
OUTRO
but i promise you it’s amazing what starts to unfold and not only do you start changing your life and and your family story but you also start to feel more hopeful you start to get excited again you’ve got something positive to focus on and that in itself will make you feel better will make you feel like you’ve got energy again you’ll start to become inspired towards moving towards something that is really positive for you and your your family’s future okay um so today we looked at three ways to really start to move towards um feeling hopeful again feeling positive for your future and your family and i really can assure you if you put these things into practice get started straight away you will be amazed at what what changes you’ll start to feel better you’ll have more energy all of those things you start to get that positive momentum moving towards that so um good luck with that i i really look forward to hearing your updates and your comments and your feedback around that and if you’re not on the program and and we can help you in any way or if i can help you in any way i would certainly love to be able to help you to achieve those goals so um thank you so much for joining me today if you’ve got any questions at all please let ella and myself know and we look forward to seeing you and speaking to you in the next episode of the autism 360 method so thank you for joining me today and i will speak to you soon
