How to Improve Eye Contact for Children with Autism and ADHD

Children with autism and ADHD can become more comfortable with eye contact through gentle practice, supportive routines, and positive, pressure-free communication. The goal isn’t to make a child look at you. It’s to build connection and shared attention in a way that feels safe for them. Below you’ll find eye contact activities for autism and ADHD that feel like play, not practice.

Why Is Eye Contact Important?

Eye contact is one way people show they are paying attention and interested in each other. But it’s only one way, and for many autistic children and children with ADHD, it’s not the easiest or most natural one.

In many cultures, people who don’t make eye contact are wrongly assumed to be rude, dishonest or not listening. That can make life harder for children who look away, so some families want to help their child feel more comfortable with it. It’s also worth knowing that “eye contact” is really about eye gaze and shared attention, rather than staring into someone’s eyes.

Many children with Autism tend to look in the DIRECTION of people rather than into their eyes.

Eye contact can show awareness of, and interest in, the other person. In many cases, people assume a child isn’t paying attention if they don’t make eye contact. But we need to be careful: many autistic children find looking at people’s eyes uncomfortable, overwhelming or even painful, and many autistic adults say they listen best when they’re not looking at someone’s face, or even with their eyes closed. Looking away is often how a child stays regulated enough to listen.

That’s why the strategies below are invitations, not demands. If your child would rather look at your mouth, your hands or the toy you’re sharing, that’s still connection.

9 Best Strategies to Encourage Eye Contact

1. Model warm, relaxed eye contact with your child; turn towards your child when you talk to them, and get down to their level.
2. Bring an object or toy up near your eyes to invite your child to look your way. At first they may only look at the toy, and that’s fine. Over time, quick glances at your face may follow.
3. Instead of “Look at me”, try “Show me” or “Are you ready?” so your child can choose how to show they’re with you.
4. Never physically turn your child’s face or hold their chin to make them look. It can feel frightening and overwhelming, and it teaches that their comfort doesn’t matter.
5. Stand in front of your child when they’re on the swing or rocking horse. Occasionally stop the swing and say “Ready, set…” then wait a moment before saying “Go!” Many children will glance at you in anticipation. Over time you can wait for a look, a sound, a sign or a word for “Go”.
6. Blowing bubbles and then pausing before the next one is often a fun way to invite shared attention.
7. Use lots of different, playful ways to connect. Avoid constantly repeating “Look at me, look at me.”
8. Some children feel more comfortable during movement activities, like swinging or tickles, and may make spontaneous eye contact then.
9. Respond warmly to connection in any form, whether it’s a glance, a smile, a sound or bringing you a toy. You don’t need to single out eye contact for praise.

Eye Contact Activities for Autism: Games to Try

The best eye contact activities for autism are games your child already enjoys, where looking at you happens naturally because something fun is about to happen. Try these eye contact games for autism:

• Peekaboo and hiding games: hide behind a scarf or your hands and reappear with a big smile.
• Silly faces and stickers: put a sticker on your nose or forehead, or wear funny glasses. Many kids love to check them out.
• Ready, set, go games: with cars, balls, bubbles or tickles, pause before “go” and let your child signal when they’re ready.
• Songs with actions: “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” or “Round and Round the Garden” face to face, pausing before the best bit.
• Mirror play: sit side by side in front of a mirror and make faces together. Some children find looking at a reflection easier than looking at a face directly.

Keep the games short and stop while your child is still enjoying them. If they look away, let them. That’s often a sign they need a moment to process.

ADHD and Eye Contact: Does ADHD Make Eye Contact Difficult?

Yes, for many people it does. ADHD and eye contact are linked in a different way to autism. With ADHD, attention naturally moves around, so a child may look away because something else caught their eye, or because looking at a face while listening takes too much focus. Some children with ADHD also find eye contact intense or uncomfortable, especially if they are also autistic (sometimes called AuDHD).

If your child has ADHD, it can help to:

• Reduce distractions when you need their attention, like turning off the TV.
• Say their name and wait a moment before you speak.
• Let them fidget, doodle or move while they listen. Many children with ADHD listen better when their body is busy.
• Check understanding by asking them to tell you the plan, rather than by whether they looked at you.

Can Occupational Therapy or Speech Therapy Help?

Many families ask about occupational therapy to improve eye contact, or speech therapy activities to improve eye contact. Good therapists today focus less on eye contact itself and more on what it’s part of: shared attention, turn-taking, enjoying being together and communicating in any form.

• Occupational therapists can look at sensory and visual processing, and help with visual tracking, regulation and comfort in social play.
• Speech pathologists often use play-based activities, like the “ready, set, go” and bubble games above, to build joint attention, communication and connection.

Be cautious of any program that sets “eye contact” as a goal in itself or rewards a child for looking. Many autistic adults describe forced eye contact as stressful and distracting, and it can get in the way of listening and learning.

Understanding Eye-Tracking Skills and Why It Is Essential

Some children benefit from practicing “tracking”, or following an object with their eyes. This is a useful skill when you use visuals or schedules, and it is part of shared attention.

9 Recommended Strategies for Teaching Eye Tracking or Scanning

1. Blow bubbles, or toss feathers or balloons in the air.
2. Light-up wands or glow sticks: move them around slowly and let your child follow.
3. Torch activities: follow the light along the wall. Cover the torch with different colors to make it interesting.
4. Toys that move on their own, like remote-control or pull-back cars, so your child’s eyes follow the object.
5. Roll a ball, gradually extending the range and length of each roll.
6. Throwing-at-a-target games.
7. Books: If your child likes books, looking at the pictures together can be great. Pop-up and lift-the-flap books are often more engaging for children who are less interested in books.
8. Puzzles: Start with your child’s favorite interest, using quick puzzles where they only need to look briefly to complete them, then build up.
9. Favorite TV shows and videos can also build looking and scanning skills.

📌 MUST READ :
Does Lead Exposure Cause ADHD?
Are Kids with ADHD more Prone to Accidents?

Conclusion

Supporting eye contact in children with autism and ADHD is not about forcing behavior. It’s about creating comfort, connection and confidence. With gentle strategies, playful activities and no pressure, many children become more comfortable sharing attention, sometimes with eye contact and sometimes in other ways, at their own pace. By celebrating every kind of connection and respecting each child’s sensory needs, parents and caregivers can build stronger communication and more meaningful interactions over time.